Listen, I’m about to tell you something that the self-help industry doesn’t want you to know: co-parenting with a narcissist isn’t actually a thing. It’s like saying you’re “co-piloting with a tornado” or “collaboratively managing finances with a casino addiction.”

What you’re actually doing is damage control in a psychological warzone while trying to raise functioning humans.

Let me paint you a picture: Every time your phone buzzes with their name, your stomach clenches like you’re about to give a naked speech to your high school reunion.

Why? Because you know that even the most innocuous request – “Can we swap weekends so Timmy can attend his science fair?” – will somehow morph into accusations that you’re trying to “steal their time” or “manipulate the kids against them.”

It’s like playing chess with someone who not only changes the rules every turn but occasionally eats the pieces and then blames you for losing them.

The Emotional Thunderdome

First things first: YOU’RE NOT CRAZY.

Now that we got that out of the way, divorcing a narcissist is like finally escaping Alcatraz only to realize you still have to mail them Christmas cards. You’ll feel relief, grief, rage, and exhaustion – sometimes all before breakfast.

This is normal.

Your ex feeds on your emotional reactions like a psychic vampire. They’ll deliberately push your buttons because your pain is like a five-star meal to them.

This isn’t because they’re a cartoon villain (though the resemblance may be striking); it’s because their fragile ego needs constant validation, even the negative kind.

Here’s your new mantra: “Not my circus, not my monkeys.” You can’t control their behavior, only your response. When they send that 3 AM text rant accusing you of sabotaging little Johnny’s soccer career because you bought the wrong color cleats, take a deep breath.

Their chaos is no longer your emergency.

Communication: Less is More (Actually, None Would Be Ideal)

Remember how people say communication is key in relationships? Well, with a narcissist, silence is golden and documentation is platinum. Every interaction is a potential trap, so:

  • Get everything in writing. Texts, emails, carrier pigeons – whatever creates a record. When they inevitably claim “I never said that,” you’ll have receipts.
  • Be boring as hell. Respond like you’re a DMV employee on Valium: “Pick-up will be at 5 PM as scheduled.” No emotion, no justifications, no openings for drama.
  • Use a co-parenting app if available. It’s like having a digital chaperone that prevents your ex from going full Jerry Springer on you.
  • Never, ever respond when you’re angry. That snarky comeback feels amazing for about eight seconds – right until they screenshot it and send it to their lawyer, your mother, and your kid’s teacher.

Your Legal Arsenal: Paper Shields and Document Warriors

Courts aren’t perfect, but they’re your best defense against narcissistic chaos. You need a custody agreement so detailed it would make a tax attorney weep with admiration.

Every holiday, pickup time, and financial responsibility should be spelled out like you’re writing instructions for assembling nuclear weapons.

Document. Every. Thing.

If your ex is 20 minutes late for pickup? Log it. Sends inappropriate texts? Save them. Shows up to school events drunk wearing nothing but a Speedo? That definitely goes in the file (and probably requires immediate legal action).

The beauty of meticulous documentation is that narcissists hate when their alternate reality gets challenged by facts.

They’ll often straighten up (somewhat) when they realize they can’t gaslight a judge who’s holding a three-inch binder of their BS.

The Kids: Your Priority, Not Your Therapists

Here’s where it gets tricky. Your kids are caught in this psychological Hunger Games, and protecting them means you’ll sometimes have to swallow your pride like it’s a horse pill.

Never trash-talk your ex to your kids. I know, they’re acting like a human dumpster fire, but saying that out loud only hurts your children. Kids internalize criticism of either parent as criticism of themselves.

When your ex goes on a tirade about what a terrible person you are, respond with the emotional equivalent of a shrug: “I’m sorry you heard that. That’s just not true.”

Provide stability in your home. If your ex’s house is all ice cream for dinner and no bedtimes because they’re the “fun parent,” don’t compete. Kids actually crave structure, even if they protest it.

Be the boring parent who ensures homework gets done and vegetables get eaten. Your kids’ future therapist will thank you.

Parallel Parenting: The Nuclear Option That’s Actually Better

Forget the Pinterest fantasy of amicable co-parenting. You’re implementing parallel parenting: two separate tracks that rarely intersect.

Think of it like running two different operating systems that only share data when absolutely necessary.

Each parent handles their own time, their own way, with minimal interaction. It sounds extreme, but it’s like installing a firewall against their toxicity.

The kids may have two different experiences in two different homes, but at least they’re not witnessing World War III every time you and your ex are in the same room.

The Support System: Your Oxygen Mask

You wouldn’t try to climb Everest without oxygen, so don’t try this journey without support. Find a therapist who understands narcissistic abuse. Join support groups. Maintain friendships where you can vent without judgment. Reply to this email and just RELEASE EVERYTHING, I won’t judge you one bit. I promise.

Remember: this is a marathon, not a sprint. Your ex may never change, but your ability to handle them will.

As the kids get older, the custody battles will fade, and eventually, you’ll reach a stage where their toxicity can’t touch you anymore.

In the meantime, celebrate small victories. Each gray rock response, each successful drop-off without drama, each time you resist the urge to engage with their chaos – these are wins.

Your kids are watching how you handle conflict, and you’re teaching them resilience in real-time.

It’s not fair, it’s not easy, but you can do this. One day at a time, one breath at a time, with firm boundaries and your eye on what really matters: raising kids who somehow emerge from this mess as functional, loving humans.

Welcome to the trenches, warrior. You’re not alone… especially if you let me help you become literally manipulation-proof with my Knesix Code™ Body Language Masterclass that it’s at 40% off until the end of April.

With my Masterclass, you will…

    • Learn to spot the manipulation cues of any toxic personality (and teach your loved ones to spot them as well)
    • Pinpoint your emotional weak spots that manipulators exploit, so you become manipulaiton-proof
    • Learn to deal with highly toxic people so you can neutralize their psychological venom

For the full info and link to enroll, click here: https://jesusenriquerosas.com/masterclass​

I’ll see you there!

Jesús.

The Body Language Guy